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How to Hypnotize Bill Maher

In case you missed it, I appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher on Friday and explained that Trump is more Master Persuader than crazy clown. It’s worth watching.

If you want to learn more about some of the psychological phenomena I mentioned on the show, I recommend this new book called Impossible to Ignore. It is the newest addition to my Persuasion Reading List

The thing I was trying to say on the show, before I got cut off, was that Trump’s selection of issues is part of his persuasion talents. He was smart enough to pick the topics with the most emotional power. It was intentional. Keep in mind that every candidate had the same options that Trump did, but only Trump chose correctly. That is not an accident. The public just thinks it is.

Bill said during the show that he can’t be hypnotized. Evidently he tried it before and it didn’t work. I didn’t have time for a complete response so I will give it to you here.

For starters, everyone is hypnotizable. That’s what I learned in hypnosis class, and that has been my personal experience. Twenty percent of the public can be deeply hypnotized, but all the rest can be influenced in some productive direction. 

Hypnosis is a learned skill, and that means some hypnotists are better than others. It would take a talented hypnotist to deal with a  professional skeptic such as Maher. And the approach would have to be tailored for him. A generic hypnotic induction would be useless with such a personality.

The way I would approach hypnotizing a hardcore skeptic is to describe the method as I went. With a normal subject, I might say, “Imagine your favorite place in the world to relax” and that would be enough to start the ball rolling. But with a skeptic, I would add “Our brains make associations automatically. If I ask you to recall a bad memory, it might raise your blood pressure and pulse. But when I ask you to imagine a relaxing situation, your body naturally follows.”

A skeptic will understand that imagining a relaxing scene puts you in a more relaxed mood than recalling a bad memory. There is nothing magical about that. And I would continue explaining the technique as I went, in ordinary terms that anyone can understand. Persuasion works even when you explain the method as you go. If you don’t believe me, consider that Trump tells the public he is being controversial because it gets him the effect he wants. He says he plans to be presidential later. He tells us what he is doing and then he does it. And it still works.

Think about Trump’s Linguistic Kill Shots (nicknames). Trump now tells us in advance that he’s about to hatch one. Then he does. Then we watch it work. His persuasion is just as effective when he tells us how he’s doing it and when. In fact, it probably works better when the public is primed to see it coming. If you think Trump is going to be persuasive, it makes him more persuasive, like a placebo effect on top of a real drug. 

My point is that a good hypnotist can hypnotize (or persuade) Bill Maher or any other skeptic. Some of you will say I persuaded him on the show to see the Clinton campaign as doomed. Did you see a turn?

On a related note, over the weekend I privately tested my claim that I could persuade an angry Trump-hater to become a Trump supporter in one hour. It turns out that I was wrong. It only took ten minutes. 

We are not a rational species.

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Some Respect for Hillary Clinton

This election cycle has produced some spectacular entertainment. But it has also produced (already) spectacular benefits for the country. It would be easy to miss those benefits. I’ll explain.

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Scalia and the Pillow

As you know, Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia recently died. Here’s what we know.

1. He seemed healthy(ish) that day.

2. He was discovered with a pillow over his head.

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The Amazon Gift Predictor (Trump Master Persuader Series)

What follows is a deeply unscientific test of the public’s subconscious views of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

Note: This might not work outside the United States

To play along, follow these steps.

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The Master Persuader Filter and Trump’s Schlong

If you are following the U.S. presidential campaign, you know that Donald Trump recently said Hillary Clinton got “schlonged” in her last campaign attempt against Obama. According to the standard 2D analysis on the news, this is the sort of vulgar gaffe that should hurt a candidate.

But you might be wondering if “schlonged” was a deliberate and clever move by a Master Persuader or just another in a long list of Trump vulgarities. Let’s look under the hood and see if the engine is purring or it is full of squirrels.

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A Deeply Unscientific Test of Your Political Bias (Trump Persuasion Series)

The normal view of human beings is that we are mostly rational, but sometimes we get a bit emotional or crazy. My so-called Moist Robot Hypothesis on reality says the reverse, that we are irrational nearly all the time and that we rationalize our decisions after the fact. That view comes from my experience as a trained hypnotist.

I know that most of you don’t completely buy into the Moist Robot Hypothesis, so I devised an unscientific test to rattle your confidence in your own rational processes.

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Robots Read News - About Hitler’s Testicles

In the news, scientists confirm that Hitler had only one normal testicle. So Christmas came early for humorists all over the world.

I’d like to get a jump on the lazy comedy writers that are sleeping late. Which one of these jokes should I tweet?

(If your firewall is blocking images, only the best one will be on Twitter, and later, so sorry about that.)

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This next comic was edited per your comments. The old third panel was a slippery slope punchline (with a typo). For the writers following along at home, I would not have written this updated punchline, below, on my own because it seems more biased than clever. So here, for your reading pleasure, I remove my ego from the equation and give you what you asked for.

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Robots Read News about the Sanders Campaign Accessing Clinton Voter Data

You can see the image here on Twitter if your firewall is blocking it.

The full story on Business Insider.

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The Upside of Ben Carson

I recently blogged that a Trump presidency would probably boost confidence in the economy and pay a big dividend in GDP over time. Economies move with psychology, and Trump is the best at business-related psychology in all its forms.

But what about Ben Carson, you ask? Does he bring an economic upside too?

Yes – a monstrous one. In fact, Carson brings with him the Godzilla of economic possibilities. And I apologize for not putting together the pieces until now. Carson is a once-in-a-generation economic opportunity for the United States. He could bring an asset to the White House that you might never see again. That asset is the fixer of climate change. It is the healthcare improvement of all time. It is an enormous boost to worker productivity, if not the largest ever. What could be such a big deal, you ask?

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The Cage Fight President

As regular readers know, I believe humans are moist robots with little awareness of why we do what we do. For example, someone (I’m not sure who) pointed out that the American public usually votes for the presidential team that would win a cage fight. Let’s see if you agree. I will consider only the presidents from my lifetime, which roughly corresponds to the age of television.

Keep in mind that Republicans have lost every time they had a disabled vet (McCain and Dole) or a woman (Ferraro) on the ticket. Jimmy Carter, at 5′9″ lost reelection to Reagan. Those are the obvious ones. Let’s look at some more matchup.

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