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#General Nonsense

Uber Gets the Buzzfeed Treatment

Recently a dipshit editor named Ben Smith over at Buzzfeed ambushed Uber executive Emil Michael by taking out of context something Michael said at a private dinner and publishing it under a misleading headline.

It was such a clever ambush that Emil Michael couldn’t hope to explain himself without inflaming things further. So he wisely issued a half-assed non-apology-sort-of-apology to make it all go away.

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A Life Well-lived

How do you know if you’re living your life right? Is there a standard for that sort of thing?

I came up with a little graph of what I think a well-lived life looks like. The idea here is that we are born 100% selfish, as babies. But if we manage our lives well, our selfishness declines continuously until death. Death is the ultimate lack of selfishness.

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How to Stop Teens from Texting while Driving

You would become a billionaire if you built a device to stop teens from texting and driving. The insurance companies would love it.

I think I figured out an elegant way to stop teens from texting. Yes, I could form a company to produce the product myself. But building a company takes time, and luck, and patent applications, and lots more. I would be dicking around trying to form a company while thousands of people die in the meantime.

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The Transparency Party

The other day a friend mentioned that he would vote for the first presidential candidate that agrees to wear a GoPro camera on her head and live-stream every working minute of the presidency.

My first reaction to the idea was that it was funny but impractical.

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A Ride on the Creative Process

I know from the comments on this blog that many of you are interested in the creative process. Let me take you for ride in my head. I took this journey yesterday. It is still fresh in my mind so I can explain it.

Most new ideas are combinations of existing ideas. I’ll start by describing the random thoughts that inspired one of the most powerful ideas I have ever had. We’ll get to the idea itself at the end. I think this idea could cut the unemployment rate in half and turbo-charge the entire economy for generations. And the plan could be fully implemented by the people reading this blog.

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Phantom Logic

This is a post about my own cognitive dissonance. There is a strange little hole in my knowledge and I believe it is caused by some sort of psychological malfunction. I’ll tell you where the hole is, and perhaps you can fill it in for me.

In my experience, which I fully understand to be selective memory, discussions about the existence of God generally go this way…

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Researchers Accidentally Discover God

Some research-dudes in Denmark have expressed doubts about whether the so-called “God particle” (Higgs Boson) has really been discovered. The doubters say the experiments that allegedly found the God particle are not precise enough to know for sure.

Although the “God particle” is just a clever name, and has nothing to do with anyone’s actual God, I have recently learned that the real, actual, literal God was discovered some time ago. The discovery doesn’t get much mention in the article so you have to read between the lines.

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My Stalker Returns

My stalker is back.

Regular readers know that a Canadian woman named Christina Lane goes off her meds every few years and fills the Internet with stories of how I secretly travel to Canada to ransack her apartment and sexually abuse everyone I meet along the way. She also believes everything I write in any forum is actually an intended insult to her personally.

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Ten Minutes Ago…

I’m in my home office, working, a few minutes ago.

Caller ID says the incoming call is probably a telemarketer.

Yeah, I’m in the mood for this.

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Death by Chance

I wonder if a legal doctor-assisted suicide machine could be designed using a random number generator. That would make the laws against doctor-assisted suicide irrelevant because the deaths would always be an accident in the sense that no human could reliably predict the specific outcome in advance.

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