Scott Adams' Blog

Who Wants to Create Dilbert for a Week?

Posted December 11th, 2015 @ 9:29am

I’m planning to take a month off from cartooning, sometime soon, to finish work on the Dilbert movie script and launch a start-up that’s just about ready. The only wrinkle in my plan is that I need to create a comic every day. 

So…here’s my tentative plan. I’m looking for four artist/writers to do one week apiece (six daily strips and one Sunday) of Dilbert, with full credit, and modest pay. (Negotiable.) I would provide the Dilbert comic panel outline in a digital file and you would fill in the art and writing. My syndication editor and I would guide you.

But there is a twist.

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The Trump Immigration Surprise - the Trap is Half-Sprung

Posted December 10th, 2015 @ 9:15am in #Trump

As you know, Donald Trump has offended 90% of the media and nearly a third of the country with his idea of temporarily banning Muslim immigration. That’s some crazy Hitler stuff, say the headlines.

You might recall that I predicted in this blog an “immigration surprise” from Trump that follows the format of movies. In a typical three-act movie, you have these main parts:

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My Offer to Stop Donald Trump

Posted December 9th, 2015 @ 10:37am in #Trump

Update: I will be raising the price of this offer $100 million per month until November because of my 2015 track record. Act now! ;-)

As regular readers know, I have been writing about the persuasive skills of Donald Trump. You might also know I’m a certified hypnotist and I’ve been studying the field of persuasion for decades. And you might also know I predicted back in August that Trump would use those persuasion skills (which are unprecedented) to dominate the field.

Other than me, who else predicted in August that Trump would be leading the Republican polls in December? Keep in mind that I showed my work all the way. I updated my prediction in October to a Trump landslide in the general election. My predictions are based on his skills, not his policies.

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Risk Management - (Trump Persuasion Series)

Posted December 8th, 2015 @ 8:22am in #Trump

I’ve been out of the loop for a few days, working on a start-up. (More on that in the coming weeks.) So I haven’t been following the news. Let’s check in on Donald Trump and see if he’s done anything newsworthy lately. Checking…

Uh-oh.

Okay, you might want to know how I would apply the Master Persuader filter to Trump’s latest call to end U.S. immigration for all Muslims, at least until – in Trump’s words – lawmakers can figure out why some percentage of Muslims hate us so much. Is this a master stroke of persuasion or just batshit racist crazy? I’ll help you sort that out.

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How to Stop that Hitler-like Deportation You Fear

Posted December 7th, 2015 @ 8:05am

In a prior post I suggested that if mass deportation of millions of people started to happen on American soil, I could employ some industrial-level persuasion to help stop it. (For new readers, I’m a trained hypnotist.)

Here I’ll assume something terrible is happening along the lines of Hitler – families ripped apart, people beaten for no reason, that sort of thing. I’m not talking about normal, sane immigration policies (whether that exists, or you even want it to). Today I’m only talking about the pure Hitler stuff. The worst case scenario. The thing you fear the most. That’s the one I could stop. With your help, of course.

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Who Would You Like Me to Interview?

Posted December 6th, 2015 @ 8:52am

Who would you be most interested in hearing me interview on a podcast in 2016? 

1. Donald Trump

2. Jihadist

3. Feminist who hates me

4. An open border/amnesty proponent

5. NRA official

6. Christian fundamentalist

7. Famous business person (your choice)

I don’t have solid plans for a podcast, but will probably dabble in the coming months. If anyone has podcast software suggestions, this would be a good time to tell me. Thanks!

My Napoleon Complex

Posted December 5th, 2015 @ 12:18pm

I was born ambitious. I have no memory of being any other way. Something inside me needs to make things better, and not only for myself – just better in general. 

As you probably know, things have worked out well for me, career-wise, give or take a few bumps along the way. My ambition served me well, although it sometimes felt like a high-function mental illness. Let’s call it a grey area.

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A Robot That Eat Cows and Poops Delicious Hamburgers

Posted December 4th, 2015 @ 7:27pm in #trump

According to this article, fast food businesses will soon replace workers with robots that eat cows and poop hamburgers. My advice is to keep your distance from that robot. Stay on the other side of the counter. I don’t know how good its eyesight will be.

[If your firewall is being diffiicult, see the image on Twitter here.]

If you think that comic is dumb, you’ll love my book.

What the Heck is Fascism?

Posted December 4th, 2015 @ 10:17am in #Trump

Trump’s critics like to label him a fascist. I didn’t know what that word meant, so I made the mistake of looking it up.

It turns out that no one agrees what the word means. So if you use the word, you’re literally acting like an idiot, because the word has no definition except for the one in your mind. It is sort of like talking in tongues and wondering why no one else is nodding in agreement.

A writer for SLATE, Jamelle Bouie, recently referenced the Umberto Eco 14-element definition of fascism to analyze Trump (and decided it didn’t quite fit.) I will do the same, below.

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My Prediction about My Predictions (Trump Persuasion Series)

Posted December 3rd, 2015 @ 9:31am in #Trump

Over at 2016 Presidential Campaign Predictions they are tracking pundit predictions for the presidential race, including mine. But they have my Trump prediction dated in November. The first time I predicted he would win it all was August. I revised the prediction to “landslide” in October.

In the unlikely event that my August prediction turns out to be right (that Trump wins it all), the world is not ready to believe I could see it so early. Assuming I did. 

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