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How to Legally Vote More Than Once - Dilbert Blog

How to Legally Vote More Than Once

If you find it annoying that you only have one legal vote, here’s how you can get a few more. It’s called persuasion.

You can multiply the power of your opinion by convincing people on the other side to stay home on election day. Every vote you suppress on the other side is like an extra vote for you. And there’s no limit to how many you can have!

Persuasion doesn’t work every time. But you might enjoy experimenting to see how many times it works for you. For this exercise, I will assume you are a Trump supporter trying to suppress the votes of Clinton supporters. Here’s how you can do it.

1. Set the stage by cleverly hiding the fact that you are a Trump supporter. Say some good things to your intended targets about Clinton’s plucky attitude, her place in history, and the breadth of her experience. Once people believe you are on the “right” side, they will find you more persuasive later.

2. Prior to election day, note how lopsided the polls are in favor of Clinton. Also point out that the pollsters are usually correct when you are this close to election day. Say you are thinking of not voting this year because lines are sometimes long and parking might be iffy. Put that thought in people’s minds a week ahead of election day.

3. On the day before the election, and again on election day, engage Clinton supporters in conversations that involve concepts such as laziness, exhaustion, overwork, and stress. You don’t need to mention the election. Just talk in general about things that are more trouble than they are worth. People will respond to your downer-talk by feeling a bit lazier themselves. They might even feel overworked and more stressed than usual. (This concept is inspired by the book Pre-Suasion, by Robert Cialdini.)

4. Complain about workplace problems in which one person can’t seem to make any difference in this world. Talk about anything that feels disempowering. No need to talk about the election. The feeling will bleed over.

5. Proclaim that you were planning to vote for Clinton but it seems like a lot of work and she is ahead in the polls, so why bother?

6. Jokingly say that because you don’t plan to vote this time, it won’t be your fault if Clinton is a huge mistake as president. You’ll have a clean conscience for four years.

7. Wonder aloud how anyone can vote for either Trump or Clinton without feeling stained by it all.

If you follow those steps, and reinforce them with repetition, you can potentially influence about 10% of your target group to skip voting. Let me know how it works for you.

I wrote a book because I am an author.