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Hypnotizing You to Have the Best New Year’s Day Ever (Part 4 - The Climax) - Dilbert Blog

Hypnotizing You to Have the Best New Year’s Day Ever (Part 4 – The Climax)

Warning: This post involves real hypnosis on the reader, and it is intended for adults only. Do NOT read further unless you have already read parts 1-3. 

Part 1

Part 2 (I can’t link to it for some reason. Just scroll up from #1.)

Part 3

Let’s begin by reviewing what we know.

You know I already told the bedroom-submissives reading this blog to obey my orders tonight and find a way to thank me. This group is quivering in anticipation and has my permission to enjoy the evening. You are my favorites. Be good.

For those of you who felt anti-aroused reading this blog series, I recognized your brain wiring as the no-by-reflex personality type, and in Part 2 I hypnotized you to NOT enjoy your New Year’s celebration, or the following day, with deeply satisfying orgasms. If you enjoy yourself sexually during this holiday, it means I am controlling you with my hypnosis, and this group doesn’t want that. So keep your sex drive to yourself. If you can.

And you know I promised that today is the day for the rest of you. I will begin by noting those areas in which you and I most agree. This is called pacing. It is how I get inside your head to push buttons.

You have found yourself thinking about my words more than usual this week. You are curious whether I have the skills to suggest you into the best orgasms of your life on New Year’s eve, or New Year’s day. If not the best orgasms of all time, definitely some of the best. But probably the best.

I will explain why it will work.

Think about the best lover you have ever had. Remember that person’s scent, and touch. Notice how the memory activates your feel-good chemistry.

You have noticed that each lover, and each situation, feels different on a chemical level. Your body’s sexual chemistry is, by its nature, adaptable, diversified, and ready for new experiences. Imagine what would happen if you combined the best chemistry from your best orgasmic experiences into one cumulative experience. Do you think you would like that?

It already started. 

Most of you have begun to feel the change. My email (Dilbertcartoonist@gmail.com) is starting to fill with stories from readers who have had spontaneous orgasms since Part 1 – because they feel my intention – as you do now. For perspective, about 20% of the public would normally respond to my suggestions immediately. The rest of you require repetition. And you are getting it.

Whether you could feel my intention earlier this week, or it starts later today, every person is different. Tonight, all paths to satisfaction are the right paths. Tonight you have my full appreciation – with complete sincerity – for everything you are, and everything you did this year, good or bad. I like you, and I mean it. Reading your comments is often a highlight of my day. Feel my appreciation and allow it to boost your chemical experience. 

Regular readers know that I used my background in hypnosis to accurately predict nine-out-nine political events in 2015, while most political professionals got zero right. That makes me the best political pundit of the year.

Actually, that probably makes me the best political predictor in the history of Earth. Nine out of nine – and none of the predictions were obvious or based on trajectory.

As I made my predictions, I showed my work every step of the way and asked you to judge me by my predictions, as opposed to fitting my hypothesis to the past, which is too easy. And then I accurately predicted – with confidence – nine-out-of-nine unknowable future events. 

And you watched it happen. 

You might also know some of my back story, and wonder how someone can become a cartoonist with no experience, no training, and no artistic talent. The answer is that I did it the same way I predicted nine-out-of-nine political events in 2015. Persuasion is a learned skill.

You probably also know that I have used something called affirmations to find success. An affirmation is a simple statement of what you want, repeated every day. Affirmations are a longer story, but the key is focus. 

This week I helped you focus on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s day. Some of you took that opportunity to plan ahead so you could improve your odds of an amazing and orgasmic send-off to 2015.

Some of you directed a spouse or lover to this blog series to make sure you are on the same page tonight and tomorrow. That also improved your odds, but you don’t yet realize how much. 

This week, most of you had multiple thoughts about the suggestions I put in your minds. Perhaps something in the environment triggered those thoughts, as I said would happen. Or maybe the thoughts seemed to come from nowhere. Your thoughts triggered small but automatic releases of happy-sex chemistry in your body, by reflex. Everyone is different, so you might not notice the difference yet.

Science tells us that happiness makes us smile, but forcing a smile also releases the chemistry in your body that makes you happy. Our bodies and minds are bidirectional. Either one can jumpstart the other and create a virtuous cycle.

For example, if you think about your favorite type of sex it will trigger your brain to release sex chemicals in your body. But you can also feel a sexual urge build up in your body that is caused by nothing but a lack of sex, and that forces you to think about sex, and to seek a release of some kind. It works both ways.

A number of times this week you thought about having an amazing physical experience on New Year’s eve, and the following day. Each time you had that type of thought, it triggered a small but pleasing increase in your body chemistry. 

When you notice your body responding to triggers today and tonight – especially when your favorite body parts are involved – it will make you wonder if my suggestions had anything to do with it. That will make you think of my suggestions, my intentions, and my predictions. And that will trigger your brain, which will activate your body, which will create a feeling that reinforces your thoughts. The cycle of triggering will continue until you find a way to relieve it. And you will.

Have yourself a happy new year in the best possible way.

Update: The “thank yous” are pouring in, and people are telling me it was the best orgasm (or several) of their lives. I’m hearing stories of rejuvenated marriages, skeptics converted, submissives reaching new heights, and generally a lot of blown minds.

And the day isn’t over.

I don’t have any way to estimate percentages except from my knowledge of hypnosis in general. I expected 20% of my readers to have life-changing experiences, 20% to be annoyed or turned-off, and 60% to feel something happen that demonstrates the unexpected power of persuasion. The 60% would be more easily persuaded in person, with feedback and repetition. 

The 20-60-20 ratio is sort of a given for persuasion on groups. A persuader who can swing 20% of the country at will can dominate nearly any important political topic.