Renaming ISIS to VZTP - Dilbert Blog

Renaming ISIS to VZTP

ISIS, ISIL, DAESH… all terrible names for an enemy. Those acronyms sound like corporate projects.

What we need is a name for our enemy that puts a damper on their recruiting efforts.

Here I will assume that most ISIS recruits are youngish males. I also assume the reports of ISIS fighters being totally drugged-up for battle are accurate. And I also assume that those fighters are not experiencing a satisfying love life.

Put it all together and I give you my new name for ISIS: Virgin Zombie Target Practice. (That’s VZTP for short.)

The zombie part feels right because they are too drugged to be thinking clearly. The zombie label diminishes their humanity, which is likely to come in handy once the Caliphate is walled-up and the serious killing begins. And zombies, like terrorists, are on the same part of the Uncanny Valley graph. By that I mean they act human, sort of, but not exactly.

The target practice part of the name is designed to diminish VZTP’s noble dreams of a Caliphate by setting a psychological anchor on the idea that recruits are nothing but target practice for robots. That isn’t a noble calling.

Trump taught us how to set anchors like that. It works every time, even if you announce in advance that you are doing it. Brains are simply wired to move toward anchors of that type.

Once we flood the VZTP war zone with robots and drones (you know it will happen) we will essentially have a first-person shooter game operated by the military. In a disturbingly real sense, our robots and their human operators will be engaged in Virgin Zombie Target Practice. Or at least it will feel like it.

Perhaps it is a failure of my own imagination, but I seriously can’t see this heading in any other direction. At some point the Caliphate will be walled-in by its neighbors, and robots will be doing the fighting against the VZTP.

The only other scenario I can imagine is that the VZTP wins and takes over the world. They seem spunky, but I’d like to think we can stop the zombie apocalypse by catching it early enough.