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The Cage Fight President - Dilbert Blog

The Cage Fight President

As regular readers know, I believe humans are moist robots with little awareness of why we do what we do. For example, someone (I’m not sure who) pointed out that the American public usually votes for the presidential team that would win a cage fight. Let’s see if you agree. I will consider only the presidents from my lifetime, which roughly corresponds to the age of television.

Keep in mind that Republicans have lost every time they had a disabled vet (McCain and Dole) or a woman (Ferraro) on the ticket. Jimmy Carter, at 5′9″ lost reelection to Reagan. Those are the obvious ones. Let’s look at some more matchup.

1952: Eisenhower and Nixon beat Adlai Stevenson and Kefauver. Obviously the professional killer in that group was Eisenhower. And who loses a fight to someone named Adlai?

1956: Same match as above

1960: Kennedy and Johnson beat Nixon and Henry Cabot Lodge, as I imagine they would in a cage fight. Kennedy was young and vigorous, while Johnson was nearly 6′4″ and dangerous-sounding.

1964: Johnson and Humphrey beat Goldwater and Miller. Johnson was again the big dog (physically) in that race.

1968: Nixon and Agnew beat Humphrey (the ultimate beta male) and Muskie.

1972: Nixon and Agnew beat McGovern (beta male) and Shriver.

1976: Carter and Mondale beat Ford and Dole. (Dole has one good arm.)

1980: Reagan and Bush beat Carter (5′9″) and beta male Mondale. 

1984: Reagan and Bush beat beta male Mondale and Ferraro, as they would in a fight.

1988: Bush and Quayle beat little 5′8″ Dukakis and crypt-keeper Lloyd Bentsen.

Those matches were easy to call. But how about the ones after? You be the judge.

1992: Clinton and Gore beat Bush (senior) and Quayle.

1996: Clinton and Gore beat Dole and Kemp.

2000: Bush and Cheney beat Gore and Lieberman (but lost popular vote)

2004: Bush and Cheney beat Kerry and Edwards

2008: Obama and Biden beat McCain and Palin

2012: Obama and Biden beat Romney and Ryan

According to the cage fight hypothesis, who do you think would win a cage fight if the competitors were Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Ben Carson?

We need to know the VP choices to make an informed prediction. But according to the cage fight hypothesis, Trump would beat either Carson and Clinton simply by picking another alpha male as a running mate. (Here I am assuming Gentle Ben Carson is not good in a fight.)

According to the cage fight hypothesis, Carson could beat Clinton by picking a large male running mate. Clinton could only win by picking Ronda Rousey as a running mate. And Trump would win with Mark Cuban as a running mate, at least under the cage fight hypothesis. Unless Rousey or someone with similar killing power runs with Clinton.

Do you see any validity to the cage fight hypothesis? I don’t want it to be true, but a lot of coincidences are piling up.

I wrote a book that says systems for success are better than goals. People say that idea is dramatically improving their lives. I hope so.