I’m in my home office, working, a few minutes ago.
Caller ID says the incoming call is probably a telemarketer.
Yeah, I’m in the mood for this.
I answer and put it on speaker, knowing there is usually a wait before a human appears. I wait a full half-minute.
Operator comes on and says hello.
I say nothing. She calls out again. I say nothing. This cycle repeats about seven times.
Then I yell, “HOW’S IT FEEL TO BE KEPT WAITING ON THE PHONE FOR NOTHING?!!! DO YOU LIKE IT??? HOW’S IT FEEL?!!”
Telemarketer: Um, hello…
Me: (Shouting like a maniac) TAKE ME OFF YOUR FUCKING LIST! STOP CALLING MY HOUSE! NOW! DO IT NOW! …and so on, for about a minute.
Telemarketer: I… will … take you off the list now…
Line goes quiet for about a minute. I wait patiently while drawing my morning comic.
Supervisor dude comes on the line. Evidently the first caller turned me over to someone more experienced at handling the criminally insane.
Supervisor: “How can I help you?”
Me: “YOU called MEEEEE!!!!! HOW ABOUT TAKING ME OFF YOUR LIST AND NEVER CALLING AGAIN? HOW ABOUT THAT FOR A FUCKING START?”
I won’t bore you with the rest of the conversation. It sort of went downhill after that.