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Your Marketing Wisdom - Dilbert Blog

Your Marketing Wisdom

For years I have been trying to invent the ultimate Dilbert t-shirt slogan. Ideally, the text on the shirt should be memorable and funny, and work independent of the art treatment.

Today I’m calling on your collective marketing wisdom to help me narrow down my choices. I pulled some text from recent Dilbert comics that appear to have t-shirt potential. After I narrow down my choices from your comments, I’ll pick three favorites to test on a new site called Eyecrowd, where people get paid for their opinions. You might want to check it out so you can stop giving away your opinions for nothing.

Okay, let’s begin. Which of these slogans, derived from recent Dilbert comics, seems most marketable to you?

[Update: List is reorganized by length of slogan, and I dropped “Why do ghosts wear pants?”]

There’s no kill switch on awesome.

Never mind. My phone took care of it.

Did you learn to debate on the Internet?

Self-respect is like a prison for the soul.

Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery.

I’m not lazy, I’m useless. There’s a big difference.
[Shorter version: I’m not lazy, I’m useless. Big difference.]

With any luck, your soul mate won’t be perceptive.
[Shorter version: I hope your soul mate isn’t perceptive.]

I can no longer resist the urge to text while you talk.
[Shorter version: I text while you talk at me.]

You might want to pick a defense that’s less checkable.
[Shorter version: Try picking a defense that’s less checkable.]

I’m toying with the idea of becoming a useful member of society.

I tried to read your email but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low.
[Shorter version: Your signal-to-noise ratio is low]

I’ve decided to be more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success.