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Where's My Rewind Button? - Dilbert Blog

Where’s My Rewind Button?

The other day I was looking out my office window and something unusual flashed by on the road. I didn’t get a good look at it but I could tell it wasn’t an ordinary car. I wanted a better look, just out of idle curiosity, so I did what anyone would do in that situation: I reached for the remote control so I could rewind and play it back.

The only problem, as I soon realized, is that windows don’t have a rewind feature. It was frustrating. It’s not the first time I have reflexively reached for the rewind button. Sometimes I miss bits of conversation and I think for a brief moment I’ll rewind and listen to that again. If you have a DVR at home, you might be having the same frustration.

Watching television still isn’t as good as real life, at least on average, but that gap is narrowing from both sides. Real life is getting worse while the quality of television continues to improve. Case in point, have you taken your car to the dealer for servicing during the current economic downturn? If so, I pity you. You already found out that the dealership is struggling on the sales side and they are trying to make up the difference on the service side. These days the sales staff has no function other than to hold your arms and legs while the service staff screws you.

Try taking your car in for some minor service, such as an oil change. You’ll end up paying for fixes that never actually happened, on car components that don’t actually exist. For example, your service agent might tell you that if you don’t get your flumerjib aligned, your kragwalter will oomulated and corrode the maxinflap. In a situation such as that, you know exactly two things:

1. If you take it somewhere for a second opinion, the second guy will screw you too, albeit in a new way.

2. If you try to service your car yourself, you will die in a fireball that will be visible from the International Space Station.

So you loosen your sphincter muscles, take a deep breath, and agree to let the suspicious stranger service your brains out. Your only solace comes from the knowledge that sooner or later an investigative reporter will bust your dealership.

I consider this to be one of the downsides of understanding economics. I know in advance, almost like ESP, that none of you have heard this from a car dealership’s service department in the past two months:

Service Guy: “I fixed your ping by removing a twig that was caught under the fender. There’s no charge of course, and your car is otherwise perfect. So I will just default on my mortgage and kill stray dogs to feed my family this week. Have a nice weekend!”